Once again after working today i went to Olympic, hoping that i can see Greg again. i went there and realised that somebody familiar has just walk away from the gym. It was him, i wanted to catch him and yelled out his name but i do not want to sound like a stalker, plus i cant reach him in time without having to shout at him, and so i followed him to his car, and looked at him from a distance as he unlocked his car and drove off. i sat there, looking at the car that drove away. suddenly i was overwhelmed with disappointment that i cannot begin to describe. the sense of being let down and sighing at my own fortune kept me sat down for a few minutes or so.
thinking that since i was already there, might as well go to the pool, but as i walk there i bumped into a guy who works there. He happens to recognise me and told me that the pool will be closed today and tomorrow for Christmas, much to my suprise. i was left to wonder whether Greg left after he swam or that he knew that the pool was closed too.
i wonder why Greg meant so much to me? he was not my boyfriend to begin with. but maybe because he was the first guy that initiate me into the gay sex. and that as i mentioned before, he was totally the type that i am into. if he was my boyfriend i will be thrilled. i would not mind if he was forty. and if i get to choose, i will pick him than KJ.
but he has a partner, and i was always so afraid to approach him, so as to avoid of him thinking of me as a stalker or a hook-up that will not go away. and so i hope to see him again. wishing for something that i can touch and feel but just can't have.
poor me.
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