I am lucky?

I went again to KJ's house,slept over, cooked again for him. and had a great time.

i now come to the stage that things may be too good to be true. I just seem so fortunate that i can get into a relationship when i went out dating for the first time. i have no idea whether KJ is the right person to be with. I mean there could be others who are more handsome, balder (okay but i like it) and younger than him? and i am not really sure whether he likes me because he likes me or because he has a fetish for Asians. if it's another cute asian boy he can easily get himself in love in another person.

but i think it's about taking the leap of faith. i will have to learn to trust that he loves me as much as i love him. despite all his shortcomings and his mediocrity of looks i need to learn to accept things as they are. at least he is sweet, brings me places, would not treat me as a toyboy, and is relatively quite romantic as well. he talks about the future for both of us, something which i am really reluctant to hear. not because he is not being realisitic, because i know deep down inside this relationship will need a miracle to sustain itself.

we went to howick historical village, having him snuggled me up at the dark corners of those old cottages made my heart melt. guess compare to most gay guy i am lucky to land a relationship for the first time. even though the sex part is lacking (we pretty much stick to suck and play), at least the intimacy and also the dinner, helding hands and also odd messages throughout the weekdays make me know that i have a gay love relationship. that even i want to complain about it, i know i already have much more than i can ask for. truly