leaving NZ

it's the labour weekend and it is already the first week of study break. I still have an assignment to hand in on tuesday. but i spent a productive day at the library yesterday and managed to get most of the work done. so am chilling out before getting back to work this evening.

this week is a mixed feeling one. On Friday, i brought some of my friends to check out thier first gay bar, well its Family of course. songs were alright and there was a cute small baldie checking me out but i dun wanna be too flashy of my alternative lifestyle so have to give it a miss. hate it when i care more about how people felt rather than what i want.

then My friend Ivan and I went out to Family the second time. some dancing. saw James but decided i dun have to go begging for his attention. so the night ended pretty early.

came sunday night and after finished most of my assignment, i went out again to Family, there is some show going on but i have no idea when it starts. and i was by myself, Ivan and Alli blew me off, both assignment fatigue. thinking of calling it an early night i went back. was just surfing the net before i hit the bed when i was hailed by a guy from NZ dating. before i knew it i was at his place at Newton and got some. then i came back at the early morning, caught some sleep and write this post.

guy's name is Josh, pretty soft type to me but boy aint he gentle in bed. pretty agressive yet gentle with me. i had great time. it was great that he was good. was on dry spell for a while. a good sex always cheers things out.

I am feeling the cringe in the stomach as december 2nd approaches. that day is the day i am flying back to Malaysia, leaving NZ behind. i thank God for the opportunity to come here and enjoy myself, being gay and free. it's a very liberating experience really. my close friends know that i'm a rainbow sister.

but after two years of bliss the dreadful journey of going back to my closet is just painful to think about. i'll have to be careful of what i said and it's just not me that is living in kl. i don't really mind laying low and be good but i surely won't be doing that for too long.

i have great plans but i hope it will be a reality. really pray for it. and of course still dreaming of a cute beary intelligent boyfriend haha. in the meantime, it's great to know a fellow friend who's in the same situation with me (Ivan), so we are going back to the wardrobe together. hopefully we can escape before it's too late.

really hope that this is not the last time i'll ever see nz. like some other people who made predictions in my life, i'll be back again. this time for good.