Of not having time and Rocket song

i am listening to 'Rocket' by our very own malaysian songstress Yuna. that song originally recommended by my brother. the song reminded him of his special relationship with a american girl which he almost become more than close friends... possibly missing her company as they sang this song together. my bro played the guitar and she sang the song... i quite like the song.... cause it reminds me of another thing else.

it seems to me that people that i dated and am dating now always have the problem of not being able to meet me. either they are too far away or just don;t have the time. my ex KJ lived far from me and we only weekend-dated throughout our relationship. my current boyfriend Adam lives in NZ so it;s impossible to date face to face. even so our msn chat and phone calls are very rare... now i try to date people here and i realised that they too have no time to see me... at first i looked set of dating this guy steve but he works six days a week and he works until 7.30pm. when he sees me he always looked tired.... so i could not be bothered to pursue the relationship.

now with nate it is still the same problem.... though we seem to like each other we do not get to meet each other often because he is always busy with his work and he works 9days and get 4 days off. in his days off he still get called to do additional work....so far i heard more sorry than see you there.....he feels guilty but i feel more angry and disappointed..... of course i will not throw my tantrum like i used to with KJ but i just keep it until when i decide enough is enough and i will move on to someone else.... can;t help myself sometimes...

while listening to Yuna's sensual voices singing about a rocket in her mind... i wonder when will i be able to find someone who can really see me often as i want to.... sigh.....

My very own bear!

well i admit that i have always had a penchant for bears..... their hairiness, big size and the facial hairs are the epitome of manliness and i just go crazy if i ever meet one.... i even wish that i will eventually have a bear as my partner too...

well a gay we'll call him Nate he messaged me on PR.... i was quite excited when i saw his profile that he is of the bear type. we arranged to meet and true enough he is a bear... he seems to like me a lot and i think he likes me more than i like him.... well partly it was because of Adam.

i want to start a relationship with Nate... seeing that he is a nice guy and i am finally able to date someone who is bearish enough for me. but Adam will come in June and i believe i should wait for me to come to malaysia first before i assess my feelings towards both men. i have waited for more than a year for Adam and i don't want to give up now.

i told Adam and he actually asked me to give Nate a try.... he knows he is far away and can't really be with me when i need him and vice versa... so here i am having a relationship with two men at the same time.... which is a very funny thing cause i have always been a one man's man. but i will do this until Adam comes and i will decide whom i like or love more....

My pay will come in May... another month of waiting sigh....

i went to Qbar last night.... they had a very elaborate Drag show and i think they are even better than Family D.Queens. They performed songs that i knew and some of them really look like women. one of the girl performed Madonna's 'Miles Away' and it is now stuck in my head... good beats asides... it reminds me of someone far away whom i loved for so long....