Saturday night. With one of my fag hag Ali, who has just got a new job, and me who have just quitted my job as a car groomer, we embark on a K'Rd adventure yet again. what was supposed to be a normal night out becomes an emotional event.
it all started quite well, DJ Starli at Family were playing hot tunes and people were dancing gaily, me too we having a good time grooving with Ali after our friends left early to call it a night. as i was dancing my eyes were glancing around, ogling and checking out hot boys. not that i can have them, but that i can at least have some fun imagining things. suddenly a guy catched my eyes. the horror is that i knew that guy and he is not supposed to be seen in a gay bar. He was actually my coursemate from malaysia. holy space, it was * Ivan ( pseudoname is used to enclosed identity).
i waved and he came over, he was pretty surprised enough to see me they as well. Rather than thinking crap now somebody else know that i'm gay, i am quite comfortable in my own skin to have a chat with him. but the music was too loud and we just decided to chat later. he went off somewhere and i was left to dance with Ali.
the next two minntes another famliar face came to mine. this time i was not too shocked as the guy was Dave. we had a quick chat and a few gropes here and there. he then left to prey for some hot asian boys while i danced again to my tunes.
as i am dancing again another face came to me. he looks familiar too and my mind was hit that i met that guy, *Rodney from church! then he saw me and quickly say hi. it was just funny we both gave each other ' you're gay too huh? but's that's alright' look to each other. after we met Ali went for a fag break and i continue to have a chat with Rodney. when i left Family i saw another guy who is the communion ministers at St. Pats, looks like there are heaps of closet Catholics out there.
as i walked back i was reminded of all these faces and i just sighed at everybody's circumstances. Ivan did not stricke me as a gay guy at all until i saw him. i grieved for both of us as we will embark of the closet gay road as soon as we go back to malaysia. it might be easy for me to be gay back home ut for Ivan, being a muslim can be quite difficult. i pray that one day all of us can move abroad and pursue our own happiness without the fear of persecution.
For Rodney i am relieved that finally i found a gay catholic guy as a friend. Only he knows what i feel inside, the whole embracing your gay side and also the catholic guilt that comes with it. bwe promised to catch up and i hope we can share each other thoughts and feelings too.
for Dave, he is a player and i am glad i was aware of it from the beginning. he ought to settle down before he hits the 40 yrs old mark and never be alble to score asian boys as easy as he used to.
three strikes. three strokes, three cheers
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