Well it is almost the end of April and I will be finishing my semester soon. This week is the last week of lectures and I will submit my last assignment tomorrow. Then I will be on study break until 4th of May when I’ll have my exam and then I’m done. I will have some courses to attend and then I can go back home for holiday.
My love life has a twist. I recently found out that a friend of mine at church is gay and frankly speaking. He was quite cute and I pretty much sussed him out the first time I saw him. Well he want to take things slow and I have no objection to that. But my problem lies in another person that i know.
I met Adam online and I instantly clicked with him. We both like sci-fi stuff and I think he is almost a mirror image of me, gentle and nice. The sex was amazing too. We really connect in the level I have never experienced. He was single and I can really see myself starting a relationship with him. But unfortunately it was a month before I leave NZ and I can’t ask for something which I can’t have. Though I tried to meet him as often as I can before I left, he seems to avoid me by ignoring my texts and calls. But then he’ll send messages asking how I was doing. So I left it at that, I did not even had a chance to say a proper goodbye before I left NZ.
Then after I came back I had a chance to chat online. Apparently he did not find any nice guys after me and thought that I was still the best guy he ever met (wow, that’s a good compliment I would say). Then he decided that he will come visit me and we sort of agreed to start a long distance relationship.
He will wait for me (or I’ll wait for him) and we will work something out. Truthfully speaking I wished he did not agree to that. I feel obliged staying chaste for him when I know most likely he would do the same for me too. Well he promised me that. But I keep telling him to be open to possibilities. Who knows someone might turn up in his life and be his partner. I try to convince myself I could be the one for him but I am not so sure myself.
Because of the promise now I feel bad about the first guy I met, well I’ll call him Jas. I’ll probably just stay friends with him as I think deep inside I’ll want to be with Adam. But the distance is really far and there is no definite plan of how we will be able to be together again. But he is optimistic we’ll work it out. He seemed convinced, well I secretly hope so too.
The song ‘close to you’ by the carpenters is on again. The song really reflects my feelings to Adam. Though I did not blame him for avoiding to see me when I was there. But I can’t but feel that he should better off with someone else. That I will be an interim boyfriend until Mr. Right comes along and take over from me.
Putting that aside, my life has been pretty mundane. I start swimming again and I am also trying to prepare myself with the teaching practice in June. Be going to have some fun and also to survive my practicum.
