am single again!

It’s now over between me and KJ, we went out for lunch and I decided to gently break the news to him. He took it quite well and I am quite relieved with that. We then walked separate ways as he went to take his car. ‘Take care’ was the parting words.

When I am back at home I just cried. I have never experienced break-up before and frankly it is pretty overwhelming. Especially when I was the one who asked for a break up, why I am sad was a bit puzzling. But being myself it wasn’t too hard to figure out why am I feeling this way.

Supposed it is the feeling of loneliness that I am worried about. I have never had close friends even since I left high school so I have always felt the feeling of loneliness. Then KJ came into my life and I suppose I value him more as a close friend rather than a boyfriend. We have been together for 9 months and it is pretty hard to lose a close friend. And having been in a relationship for so long it is very hard to get use to singlehood again. But then I know I will be single again when I get back to Malaysia so why not now. At least I will not have to deal with it together with dealing with possibility of leaving New Zealand for good.

Well now that I have come to a full circle I know how life revolves, supposed getting into and out of a relationship is a very meaningful experience and in many ways I have just grown up.

updates for June

Week 2 of the study week and I am almost mad. My friends have left for Australia and will spend three weeks there. Must be wicked fun. I’ll be going to Sydney on the last week of my holiday. Attending WYD 08. Will be quite meaningful. Can’t wait for them.
Currently am coughing like crazy, have no idea why I suddenly start coughing. It has been ages since I cough. I still remember when I was ten that I cough like that. Man I thought I was going to die that year. But I survived till now and I supposed I will again this time.
Nowadays too I am listening to country. ‘Brokeback Mountain’ I supposed triggered my interest in the songs. I tend to enjoy the rhythm and then drift off into another realm of thought. My brother happened to be listening to country as well so I borrowed a CD. Man the tunes were great. Enjoy every song of it.
Am thinking of cheating behind KJ too. Hoping to see this guy for sex hopefully. Well I can always have a bf and a fb right? No harm haha. Will do the follow up post on this.